Battle of the Fat

While in California I was reminded that I am fat by one of my sweet grand daughters.  She didn't say it in a mean way but in a way that struck me hard.  "Grandma," she starts out with; " you know how I know you're grandma Lori?"  Of course I must know. She says to me,"you are the fat grandma."  I laugh it off while I am dying inside.  Cut to the quick with a knife so sharp.  I can't be that grandma, I don't want to be that grandma, I will no longer be that grandma.  I have a gym membership and I vow to use it every chance I get.  Today I went and did a fat burning routine for 45 minutes.  I have a headache and my hip and heel hurt, but this will not stop me.  I am working nights again, therefore I will leave early work out shower and go to work.  I must do this.  I don't feel sexy anymore. My joints hurt from carrying these extra pounds.  I don't like the way I look.  Heck, even my large scrubs are starting to fit tight.  I have said this before, but this time I hear the innocence of Alissa over and over.  I need to change if not for me, for my family.